The importance of being "I"
The importance of being "I"
Life is definitely fleeting in nature. To live it up and thus be able to realize my dreams has been a thought of priority in me for the past few months. In this context I got the chance to talk to a lot of women friends of mine. Some have hardly been exposed to the real world while the others have been exposed much too much to the grim and ugly aspects of living so that their entire picture of life and living got muddled.
I belonged to the first category until not too recently. Not that I am totally aware now but I know that I am headed that way. I find it a pleasurable journey, where you let go of your inhibitions and get the courage to actually question the various dogmas thrust upon you from the time you arrived upon this planet.
It sounds easier said than done. But in this journey I have had some wonderful perceptions. To begin with, I was getting to know myself. In a conventional and orthodox Indian setting, (I was brought up in the strict environs of a catholic boarding school in Kerala) you are brought up with the notion that you are what others think you are supposed to be. Right from your parents to the teachers in school to the society you interact with ..... everyone else but you, tells you what or who you are and you accept it blindly; no questions asked. You live with this belief and it becomes ‘you’ after a considerable point of time. Later if you happen to be thrown in to a more aware society, (It happened to me when I came to Bangalore) where individualism is respected and looked up ടോ, you tend to see where you have been lagging behind and if you feel the need to catch up you will move in that direction.
Then I began to accept myself as I was. I had always found it difficult to believe in myself and had banked on my friends or family to reassure me of the same. As a result, the moment one of them backs out, or disappears from my life, I am lost again. To be able to love yourself for what you essentially are is a beautiful gift. It comes in with an awareness of the self and lots of confidence. At times it's tempting to slip and just fall back in to the old rut. But I try to strenuously hold on.
Living life as if there was no tomorrow came next in my list. I started cherishing and savoring every possible moment, getting utterly 'selfish' and thinking about my own needs, dreams and goals for once. This could get a little tricky because in this new found freedom you tend to take in anything that comes across your mind as part of it. It can be something which is against your nature too. You end up realizing it a little late but is it not always better late than never?? That's the whole point too....let go and be one with your own nature, instead of trying to fall in to a pattern put forward by many others before you. If you feel there is something amiss or there is something not quite right you would get to know of it in the mean time. Just act upon it then and life is back to being carefree and beautiful.
With these three aspects in place it’s just a matter of working on them. I have always found that for women in India, the majority of them, developing their individuality has not been a smooth learning. May be because we are a still evolving society or it could just be that we do not find the need for it too. Knowledge comes in only through experience. Our women never had the chance to experience their own selves and hence they have been living in ignorant bliss. Dependence on the 'stronger' male has been encouraged from a very young age onwards, more in a rural setting now, and it continues and goes on till the end. The famous lines in Manusmrithi, (an ancient Indian philosophical text) which indicate that a woman needs to be taken care of till her end only substantiates this. She cannot exist otherwise and hence she remains dependent and takes in what comes to her.
Will we head towards independence of our own selves? Do we find it a necessity? Would it not be too much of upsetting the routine??? Too many questions left unanswered but definitely worth a serious thought!
Life is definitely fleeting in nature. To live it up and thus be able to realize my dreams has been a thought of priority in me for the past few months. In this context I got the chance to talk to a lot of women friends of mine. Some have hardly been exposed to the real world while the others have been exposed much too much to the grim and ugly aspects of living so that their entire picture of life and living got muddled.
I belonged to the first category until not too recently. Not that I am totally aware now but I know that I am headed that way. I find it a pleasurable journey, where you let go of your inhibitions and get the courage to actually question the various dogmas thrust upon you from the time you arrived upon this planet.
It sounds easier said than done. But in this journey I have had some wonderful perceptions. To begin with, I was getting to know myself. In a conventional and orthodox Indian setting, (I was brought up in the strict environs of a catholic boarding school in Kerala) you are brought up with the notion that you are what others think you are supposed to be. Right from your parents to the teachers in school to the society you interact with ..... everyone else but you, tells you what or who you are and you accept it blindly; no questions asked. You live with this belief and it becomes ‘you’ after a considerable point of time. Later if you happen to be thrown in to a more aware society, (It happened to me when I came to Bangalore) where individualism is respected and looked up ടോ, you tend to see where you have been lagging behind and if you feel the need to catch up you will move in that direction.
Then I began to accept myself as I was. I had always found it difficult to believe in myself and had banked on my friends or family to reassure me of the same. As a result, the moment one of them backs out, or disappears from my life, I am lost again. To be able to love yourself for what you essentially are is a beautiful gift. It comes in with an awareness of the self and lots of confidence. At times it's tempting to slip and just fall back in to the old rut. But I try to strenuously hold on.
Living life as if there was no tomorrow came next in my list. I started cherishing and savoring every possible moment, getting utterly 'selfish' and thinking about my own needs, dreams and goals for once. This could get a little tricky because in this new found freedom you tend to take in anything that comes across your mind as part of it. It can be something which is against your nature too. You end up realizing it a little late but is it not always better late than never?? That's the whole point too....let go and be one with your own nature, instead of trying to fall in to a pattern put forward by many others before you. If you feel there is something amiss or there is something not quite right you would get to know of it in the mean time. Just act upon it then and life is back to being carefree and beautiful.
With these three aspects in place it’s just a matter of working on them. I have always found that for women in India, the majority of them, developing their individuality has not been a smooth learning. May be because we are a still evolving society or it could just be that we do not find the need for it too. Knowledge comes in only through experience. Our women never had the chance to experience their own selves and hence they have been living in ignorant bliss. Dependence on the 'stronger' male has been encouraged from a very young age onwards, more in a rural setting now, and it continues and goes on till the end. The famous lines in Manusmrithi, (an ancient Indian philosophical text) which indicate that a woman needs to be taken care of till her end only substantiates this. She cannot exist otherwise and hence she remains dependent and takes in what comes to her.
Will we head towards independence of our own selves? Do we find it a necessity? Would it not be too much of upsetting the routine??? Too many questions left unanswered but definitely worth a serious thought!
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