The first stitch

It was a day like any other; I was rushing off to meet the hands of my clock. I had to fit in a doctor’s appointment too that Thursday and was wondering for the umpteenth time why we could not have at least 25 hours. A lingering back ache has finally led me to the doctor and I would say here that it was more on the insistence of my sis doc that I found myself at his OPD at St. John’s that day. After a long wait we were given an audience by the Orthopaedician. He tapped, poked and stroked and came out with the verdict: An irritated disc in the lumbar region. (Thanks to the media I was not left gaping at the terminology). A healthy diet, some gentle exercises and the will to make it happen was his prescription for the same. My extended sitting hours, both at work and in the car, contributed to it and I had to take care. We went ahead for the routine checks – the Xray was done but the blood samples could only be given the following day as I was not on an ‘empty stomach’. So the next day saw us at the hospital yet again, but this time with my little Anika in tow. All that was left to do that morning was to give out my blood to those thirsty vials. I stretched out my arm for the laboratory technician to poke and poke he did. He would have come across as a vampire or even the Count Dracula himself. Anika kept eyeing him furtively while still maintaining a very animated conversation with me. “What is the colour of your blood? Is it blue? Oh, it is almost brown”. In the midst of this chattering my sister was unaware of the loosening of the grip of Anika’s hand from hers and the next moment saw her down on the floor, fallen on her face. She had fainted. I was too shocked to react and I sat frozen on my chair. She was just a couple of feet away from me. {“Could I have prevented the fall?” Don’t we all do that?! A burst of ‘what if’s’ keep popping up the moment panic is put to rest and things are in control. In the flash back sequence we go through all possible permutations and combinations. But eventually what matters the most is the new learning that is gathered and may be, a sharpening of instinct. }

The cut on her chin was deep and she had to have sutures. I freaked out and remembered that, of the few prayers that I have sent up, one was for Anika not to have any wounds or stitches on her while she grew up. I was sure that I would not have been able to handle it. Now I stare at the face of my crying baby and knew that I needed to transform. We rushed her to the emergency ward and were told that she would go through General Anastesia for the sutures to be done. My little one tried to put up a brave front but her mask kept falling off. She was terrified. The uncertainty of what was in store led to more of fear and it was written all over her face. As she was wheeled in to the minor OT her beseeching eyes and those stubborn arms were not to let go of me. I knew there was not much to worry about but I was not able to convince her of the same. Sometimes, we need to go through our own learnings and she did that too. Thirty minutes later she was back in my arms and all was well with her world again. The questions and the chattering continued as if there was no break in between…

We stepped out of the hospital, leaving behind the smells and sights and sounds. I was grateful for the beautiful evening sky and for the feel of that tiny hand in mine.